When I am this way, I love everybody...well actually not everybody but most people...but that isn't the point of me writing right now. I am righting right now becauseI'm feeling introspective. I feel as though I have reached a point in my live where it is important to take time out to reflect on my decisions and figure out whether I have made the best ones that I can. I know that theorising all the possible outcomes of my behaviour at this time of night makes no sens but because I have been drinking. Everything makes sense...even the way that I just ended the prior thought with a period when it is probably grammatically incorrect.
Anyway I have realised this...that this is MY journey, my life. I am winging it like everybody else and that other people don't have to understand or put up with it. It's their prerogative to accept or reject me as I am, whether or not who I am is who I will always be doesn't matter, when people are no longer interested in my journey then, as much as I'd like to hold on to them, it is important to let them go, my progression depends on it. I have realised that we cannot expect everybody to understand our challenges, we must rely on the assumption that humanity is...humane but at the same time we must understand that even if people can't deal with us, that doesn't make them bad people, it just means that their journey and ours, can't positively influence one another. I love this. I love that life is always correcting itself and I suppose I come from a place of privilege where the most suffering that I've ever had was...slight. I am appreciative of the hand I have been dealt, it has allowed me the freedom to go out and spread my "Sharlaness" to the world...has also granted me this fantastic delusion that the world can benefit from this glorious "Sharlaness" you see, I am gifted, like everybody,..evybody has a gift, and we are supposed to share our gifts because we enjoy them more that way...it would suck if I couldn't share myself...and this is why I am looking inside myself right now...I bet there is more of me that even I haven't discovered yet, isn't it amazing how we can learn at every second in our lives, right on up until the day we die? It literally arouses me when I think of all the things that my mind can consume within the time that I am given here on earth. It's a beautiful fucking thing...we learn about people and things and life and Most importantly, we learn about ourselves and just how much we can take and how much we can give of ourselves........and I love to give of myself to the people who appreciate me and I love being me and living life each day knowing that I will have absorbed something more that I had not in the day before that. We should all feel so fucking new every time we awake because there is a new fucking opportunity to realise in how many ways we are so fucking lucky to have been allowed to experience this existence, whatever it means, and even if it means nothing....so what! We still got something fucking amazing out of it and that is our span of life, no matter how short, we got to live it and I'm happy, so happy, so friggin happy that I get to be ME in this existence, I get to be Sharla all the time and sometimes people don't like it but guess what I don't care, does it stop my existence?? NO!!! A big fat resounding NOOOOO! I feel great, I went to the gym today and worked my fucking ass off and guess what, I'm gonna do it tomorrow too, and not on Friday but on Saturday I am, and again on Monday and I am going to drink that tea that makes me shit all fucking day if I eat any rubbish food and I am going to get a start on my paper for class and I am going to live my BEST life in the BEST way that I know how because why else would I be here if I didn't do that??? The meaning of life is, to give life your own meaning and live by your own terms! And that's ALL that I have to say for this post people. If you enjoy reading my writing, well you need to recirculate the link to this blog, and tell me you like the things I say...and if you don't....well tell me that too, I love constructive criticism...anyway...peace out people, I love you all!
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