Black men & Black Women

As a woman I am compelled to speak to some of the things this sista says.
I think this vid could be a bit of an emotional response to the neo feminist movement that seems to be growing, within this movement it seems that women discount the importance of men in the social structure and family relationship. I can understand what her points are, I know where it comes from but for most of it I am inclined to disagree. When she first starts to talk about black women and independence, and she says that independence is the inability to depend on someone else, I get that but she sloppily ignores the fact that in the way this society is, independence especially with a single mother is not a choice, it's just the way things have to be based on some poor decision making. I understand and respect that there should be interdependence, yin and yang, one energy feeds off the other in a cycle of life, how idealistic. This video ignores that most of these man bashing behaviors come from a feeling of disempowerment in this patriarchal society where womens roles are underappreciated. The amount of black women out there singing this song for the disempowered black man and our duty to take care of him is just overwhelming. As a single mother, I know that....she is wrong in assuming that single mothers don't know the value of a man, and like society, overlooks the responsibilities that many men are neglecting. She is chastising women for doing what seems like the only viable option and turning into a single back mother doing it alone, a role that is bound to create even the slightest bit of animosity, not directed at anybody but the situation that we contributed to putting ourselves in but also the disproportionate effect of the consequences. I am just wowed when she says stop gold digging emotionally...um WTF? there are no words for this. No words, I'm too exhausted to even try to speak to just how many things are wrong with that statement. then she said "being a help mate" I'm sorry...this isn't even that deep. She doesn't know what she's talking about. She objectifies women and tries to make it look like something empowering, appalling. IMHO if she wanted to make a video that encourages healthy relationships, you can't isolate one role from the other and you can't assume that the only correct model is based on an average heterosexual relationship. The other thing about this video is that is jumps the gun, she talks about becoming oneself too breifly as though it is just a requisite to attracting a good black man, as opposed to the most important journey of this series of journies called life. To me, this sort of muted bigotry is the core of our issues, here we already have women repressing their own independence chasing some sort of interdependent ideal in a world where a lot of men are just exploiting the fact that women feel as though they need a man and that they need to give slack to "the black man" because of the hand he's been dealt in history, and what comes of that is emotionally exhausted single mothers trying their hardest to appease a man who doesn't even respect himself enough to take care of his children, so frustrated with how whenever she seeks help people shell out judgement when it isn't even appropriate, there are women who are made to constantly blame themselves for the mistake of bad judgement...Like it is an unspoken truth that the problems that I encounter with raising my daughter as a single mother are my fault, that I should have been smarter because I can't expect a man to help me raise a child that he helped make. How fucked up is that!?! I know I've gone on a bit of a rant that deviates from the basic idea of what she was saying, but not really...We all have issues to sort out, you can't expect people to work out these issues without addressing the causes of the issues, I respect this young womans right to express her opinions, but she clearly doen't really know what she is talking about... I am too tired to talk about this anymore especially when her opinions are the fruits of a skewed perception produced by a person who takes themselves way too seriously...I don't know why she thinks that she has the answers on this particular topic and part of me thinks she maybe even wanted to act as the devils advocate....either way it's 4:15 a.m. and I'd rather be sleeping than venting about some ridiculous cac that some chick said on youtube...